Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Poop or chocolate; The Mommy Dilemma

The name comes from my experience of finding round brown, softish morsels on my floor . Now it could be play-dough, or it could be a raisen, or it could be a little piece of chocolate that fell out of someone's little mouth in the frenzy to consume it. But by now, I know it's none of these things. It inevitably is some rogue nugget of poop that has escaped from a diaper or kiddie potty. I'm not complaining, I just never thought I'd be dealing with so much excrement!

To give you an idea, I have a 6 year old girl who wants me to wipe her when she has diarrhea because it's 'yucky'. I tell her that's part of being a person, you gotta wipe your own you know what. I know it's yucky and I don't want anything to do with it.

I have a 3 year old girl who is potty training now. So we have little potties all over the house so she can find one easily when she feels the 'poop train coming down the track'. The best poop moment recently was the other day I was loading up the stroller on our front porch and she bent over to pick up a toy. When she stood up there was a log the size of my foot gleaming in the autumn sun. She looks at it and decides it looks like a turtle. And since I was on my way to pick up 6 year old from the school bus I debated with myself whether to leave it there until I got back, (nice package for mailman), toss it into the yard and blame it on some errant dog owner or clean it up. You see, cleaning it up would not have been easy since this thing really was the size of my foot an I'm a size 10. I had to find a bag big enough to pick it up with one swipe otherwise it would have rolled off and splattered on stroller, where are the bags? I can't find one....can't miss the bus or they take your kid to some holding room and call child services on you... It was all I could do to wipe her so she didn't soil the stroller. So, I left it there until I got back. (6 year old really thought it was wild to see poop on the porch. Talked about it all night)

And just to cap off my poop olympics, I have a delicious 6 month old baby boy who just started eating food. He's freaking out becasue he doesn't have these soft wet sweet smelling poops anymore. They are hard, smelly, tough to get out and there is a lot of them. The poor little guy pushes and grunts like he's passing a hummer. Then all I find is a little Milk Dud like gem for all his hard work.

Anyway, that's where the name comes from and I think Poop is funny. I have to because it just keeps coming and coming and coming.

4 comments:

the fruitfemme said...

Oh my good god! This is hilarious!

Anonymous said...

I found your blog randomly online while searching for the words "poop or chocolate?" I too had recently experinced this troubling dilemma of wondering whether a morsel of brown, soft matter I encountered was of the delicious edible variety, or the smelly turtle shaped variety. The fruit of this was the invention of a game, wherein the contestant must guess whether the morsel in front of them is indeed "Poop or Chocolate?" In any case, my two close friend and I enjoyed quite a laugh at your first posts. Please! Keep writing!

Anonymous said...

haha poop or chocolate just try not to taste it to see if its poop or chocolate

paula said...

I appreciate your patience but I feel as parent ,our behavior must reflect what we are.Hey I just wanted to share an interesting resource with you on feeding your kids,healthier foods.